I Lost "LOST!"

It's easy to think about all that we lost. Honestly, I miss the material things. I miss my good make-up, my shoes, my bed, my cute suitcases, my beautiful furniture, my cute travel coffee cups. And, how's this for brutal honesty? I miss having a television in my room and my DVR. I'm freaking out a little that I admitted that, and I'm thinking about deleting it, but I won't. I've thought a lot about why this is what I miss the most. Am I really that much of a television addict? Yes, probably so, but I don't think that's all there is to it. Having my own t.v. was about being able to control what I watched. The DVR allowed me to have my favorite programs ready and waiting for me whenever I wanted to watch them, and if I liked an episode, I could save it, and watch it again. I'm sure all of the "LOST" fans out there will literally gasp with despair and empathy over what I'm about to tell you. "LOST" was on at the same time as one of our other favorites, so I recorded the last season every week. Due to the fact that I really don't watch as much t.v. as I am making it seem like, I never had time to watch this season. I was waiting for a "rainy weekend" to watch and catch up. Unfortunately, the "rainy weekend" took my DVR away from me and washed "LOST" down the river! DO NOT tell me what happened. It will come out on DVD soon!
The point of this embarrassing admission of how much I miss my t.v. and DVR is this: What I miss the most is having control over what I do and when I do it. I picked what I watched on t.v. and, thanks to technology with the DVR, when I watched it. Now there are so many things that I have no control over. Missing those material things is just a simplified way of looking at it. All will be replaced eventually, but I have no control over how or when that will happen. Just trying to get grants and aid gives you an out of control feeling. They want all of this paperwork that I don't have. What part of "everything is gone" doesn't make sense? So, yes, I've admitted to two of the things I really miss, but I hope I've helped you understand that these "things" represent more than just my addiction to the small screen, but also my wish to feel more in control of my life.