Don King, The Inspector

The inspector from the "We Are Home" program came to survey my damage, today, and report my losses in order to get an idea of what kind of grant or loan I might qualify for. Let me tell you, I use the term "inspector" very loosely! He looked like Don King with a baseball hat on, and apparently the job requirements are asking scripted questions and knowing how to use a tape measure. The first thing he said was, "Let's see what was damaged." "Everything," Mark and I said in unison. Thank goodness Mark (our contractor) was there to help answer the questions. It was a huge comedy of errors. He asked questions, we answered, he didn't understand the answers if they didn't fit into the form that the manual he memorized questions and answers from, and on and on it went. The final question was "Do you want money to cover the replacement of your doors?" WHAT???? No, I'll use my $2 million dollar trust fund for the doors, just help me out with everything else. Of course I want money to replace the doors! On a scale of one to ten in the how much rolling of the eyes can I do, this was about a 15. Yes, I do realize that I'm an eye-roller. I know it's rude, and I try to keep myself out of situations where I might do it, but most of the time it can't be avoided. I get it from my father. Mark is an eye-roller, too, so the guy was probably afraid he would catch something from us or that we were having some kind of fits due to exposure to the flood waters. Mark, Jr. walked in in the middle of this bewildering event, and just looked at all three of us like we were crazy. Naturally, the guy couldn't tell me if or when they will decide to help me out. I'm still feeling positive about it, though. At least there is a program, and that's the first step.